I Eat, Therefore I Am

Food, food, glorious food! and Nutrition

iLuv Quotes January 7, 2010

Filed under: humour,lessons,life,Personal — eujzin @ 11:37 am

 And these are my fave atm:

  • Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  • If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
  • A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
  • When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
  • You can’t be late until you show up.
  • Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
  • Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
 

What does it mean to be…A Man… June 9, 2009

Filed under: help,humour,lessons,life — eujzin @ 11:11 pm

Are we so stinking self-important that whatever that happens to US, must be the WORSE, the SCARIEST thing??

Part of being a man is COMPETENCE…and CONFIDENCE (note, NOT smugness). Part of being a man is believing you can handle it.

Conclusion?

Suck it up and find a way to deal with it.

Quit whining and whinge-ing and do something. anything, just do something about it.

 

Advert for Jzin’s GF April 9, 2009

Filed under: humour — eujzin @ 12:22 am

Hahaha…only realised this just now!

A sibeh farnee lao niang of a friend ‘helped’ me create an ad on her blog!
Thanks (i think)! hur hur

 

Job Advert 2

POSITION: Jzin’s Girlfriend


Job Description:
-Long term/Temporary position available
-Candidates MUST possess excellent communication skills (able to read and speak Chinese is compulsory)
-Must be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
-Travel expenses are provided occasionally and as and when necessary
-Women above age 25 preferred. (jzin, HOW OLD ARE U AGAIN?)
-Wait, only WOMEN may apply for this position. No gays pls.

Responsibilities:
-Nothing much actually. Its an easy job. Just be on time when u report for work.
-Ensure that whatever chinese words u gonna translate r to accuracy and simple for Jzin to understand.

Possibility for advancement & promotion:
-Yes. Possible to be promoted to Position “Wife” if performance is good.

Previous experience:
-As long as you can perform, relevant experience is not required for this position.

Wages and compensation:
-Payment will be in the form of free meals, dinners, and possible rides home.
-Cash? *stare at Jzin* – Negotiable

Benefits:
-Chances of u finding ur Mr Right at the same time and find ur future husband tru this job!!

To apply,

please email a full-body photo of yourself and detailed resume to eujzinatyahoodotcom

Original ad here:

Ad For Jzin’s GF

 

My Attempt in Translating Mandarin!!! February 18, 2009

Filed under: frustration,humour — eujzin @ 10:25 pm

I stole this from lao niang’s blog who ‘stole’ from her fren’s FB

(I’m actually doing this to prove that my mandarin dun suck that much and that I’m such a disgrace k??!!)

1) 我很胖, 但卻還沒到腫的階段.

I very fat but…???!!!

2) 我很孝順, 但卻常常跟我媽對罵.

I veri filial but i often follow my mother dunno wat.

3)我很愛吃, 但卻常常沒胃口.

I love to eat, but i often LOA

4) 我眼睛很大, 但是臉上的肥肉卻讓他們看起來異常的小.

My eyes veri the big but my big fat face distracts that fact.

5) 我很愛睡, 但卻常常失眠.

I love to koonz but i often get insomnia

6) 我很會變魔術, 但卻還沒有辦法把我銀行裡的數字後面多加給幾個零.

I…give…up…

7) 我很會算命, 但卻始終無法把自己命運變成跟那個姓Gate 的一樣.

8) 我很會寫歌詞, 但卻離金曲獎最佳最詞人很遠.

9) 我很幽默, 但卻常常把自己冷到生病.

10) 我很會唱歌, 但卻沒辦法唱的比姓陳, 姓周和姓張的好聽.

11) 我很會彈吉他, 但卻只會彈兩個Key.

12) 我頭髮很多, 但最擔心的事就是禿頭.

13) 我很專一, 但卻很愛看美女.

14) 我身體很差, 但是看起來卻像一頭牛.

15) 我很會打籃球, 但是卻怎樣的摸不到籃框.

16) 我很有禮貌, 但是卻常常問候人家的器官跟家人.

17) 我很積極, 但是卻懒的像豬.

18) 我記性很好, 但是卻常常忘記自己剛剛在幹嘛.

19) 我很愛NBA, 但是卻還沒有機會去到美國看一場比賽.

20) 我很愛歷史, 但是卻始終搞不清楚羅馬和希臘的關係.

21) 我很愛音樂, 但是卻始終搞不清楚Soul 和Jazz 的差別.

22) 我沒有很聰明, 但是最痛恨的就是笨蛋.

23) 我很會胡扯, 但是卻很辛苦又用力才可以寫到第23.

24) 我很無聊, 但是我快要寫不下去了.

25) 我很好奇, 但是卻不了解你為甚麼會無聊到讀到這裡.”

Shit…yellow and lao niang ish right. my mandarin sucks…(hangs his head in great shame….)

 

My Funny Valentine… February 14, 2009

Filed under: humour,life,Personal — eujzin @ 11:49 pm

Ok…it ain’t funny. Neither was there any valentine.

Every year, V-Day macham a day of dread leh. ALL the hype. AND ALL the lovey-dovey couples.

Grrrr…

Ok…obviously I’m SINGLE and dateless. ha! Do i want to celebrate V-Day? Noooo

But do I want a companion??

(more…)

 

Sian Sat February 8, 2009

Filed under: humour,life,Personal — eujzin @ 12:38 am

Damn sian leh, every sat like damn sad lah…ask the close frenz

Me: “Eh, free for dinner?”

Fren: “eh…not free”

Me: … -_-

….so I end up running instead at 8pm and eat dinner at like, 10pm!

My frenz every sat evening like damn haps lah…

I need to meet new people…

 

Beng Vs Seng (Mac Vs Windows) January 26, 2009

Filed under: humour — eujzin @ 11:04 am